DESIREESAYS

"A cold heart kills"

Vindicated, I am selfish, I am wrong, I am right
I swear I'm right, swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore, you saw yourself

There's a thousand songs I could name to express how I feel now.

I'd kill to listen to them.

But I know if I do, it's going to be a sleepless night.

Followed by an unpleasant week.

Or maybe an emotional one; One i'm neither ready nor willing to face now.

Strangle me.

Somebody.

Come to think about it, when was the last time I felt this way?

A huge fluffy ball of emotions.

Frustration, fear, joy, relieve, anxious, calm.

Must seem impossible, but pinky promise, it's all there.

I'm definitely not the easiest person to deal with.

Yes, I like to mess with people.

Yes, I'm indecisive and play by mood.

Yes, I change my mind because I am forgetful.

Figured by now you'd be familiar with it.

And be a little more understanding that this is how I am.

I didn't get a say on how I wanted to be born.

It just happened.

Figured it's the perfect time to share my thoughts on relationships.

After years of observation and some experience.

Just some must haves/ dos and stuff like that.

ONE

Be sure you've got a strong,supportive group of girlfriends at you corner.

Because when you're at your lowest, that's the best thing you could ask for.

TWO

Being loving isn't key, being trusting is.

Because if you stop loving, then it's just not meant to be.

But if you lack trust, then you're not even giving it a chance.

THREE

Quality over quantity.

Better spend short good times together rather than long unproductive times.

Sometimes, more time together is unhealthy.

That's it for today.

Actually starting to feel so much better now.

Michelle whatsapped me.

Guess she figured something was out of place.

"Go have a fag."

Perfect.

That may just be what I need.

With that,

GOODNIGHT

May you have a better week that I probably will.

DESIREESAYS

"Overload."

Last week was supposedly a long holiday.

Half day of work on Wednesday.

Then it was a break all the way till Sunday.

Nothing much happened actually.

I've got to admit, it was a dull holiday.

I'm feeling the pressure this week.

From what, I'm practically clueless.

Head is aching.

It feels like I haven't slept in days.

And like I've been lifting weights way too heavy cause my body is just sore.

My heart feels heavy too.

I need a vacation. 

A nice long one please.

Somewhere sunny and windy.

Goodnight.

I'm way too exhausted to continue.