DESIREESAYS

'It's not what makes us, it's what breaks us.'

Another day, another reason to take a breath of fresh air and hope for the best.

Last night, I decided to talk to Nick after months.

Who'd knew he was just what I needed to feel more at ease.

I didn't tell him anything.

More like I didn't need to cause he understood anyways.

Then he told me about how his situation was 'progressing' and gosh, it was a good laugh.

People can be more complicated than a math equation with algebra, differentiation, probability, stats and matrices combined.

I swear, just take a step back and observe.

We either over-think everything, or put to little thought into it.

Or we get too emotional over the smallest things and pretend to be emotionless over the things that actually matter.

We lie just to prevent ourselves from hurting someone when we end up hurting them more than the truth would have.

Better yet, we judge without realizing that's the perfect reason for someone else to judge us.

Yes, if that was a crime, I am guilty as charged.

Then again, aren't we all?

 So they say time is a healer.

I beg to differ.

Time seems to be more of a burden to me.

Think about it!

What's happening before you're 'healed'?

You go through one hell of a roller coaster.

Ups and downs, loops and more loops, uncontrolled wind messing up your face.

And guess what, it gets worse.

There's a ride for you emotions, another for your feelings, another for people's inputs and so on.

And when you start to doubt, you go through all that unnecessary chaos once again.

Anyways, this is a song for thought.

Through the Glass

DESIREESAYS

'Say hello to goodbye'

Hello. It's been awhile.

I promised, thus I shall speak of nothing but how I feel.

Oh gosh, how do I do this.

Part of me is glad, yet another part of me is disappointed and upset.

Part of me wants to keep the door open, and the other wants to shut it close and lock it.

I don't understand.

I should be happy this conversation occurred!

I guess I just didn't hear enough of what I needed to know.

Then again, I'm not going to be happy or even close to satisfaction if what I hear isn't what I expect.

Judging by what's going on so far, it like a 99.9% chance.

Question is, what do I do now?

I can't ask anyone because I refuse to break a promise.

Neither can I figure it out myself because I don't think I'm emotionally prepared for that.

Maybe I should just stop expressing how I feel.

 Just keep it to myself and show it to nobody since I'm good at that.

 I've got just the perfect song for this.

Good Charlotte, you're always there for me.